It's a new year today. 2015 is here! We have been living in our new home, in a new town for almost 5 months now. I struggled with technology and my teen where we used to live and I became very strict with her allowance of technology time. I won't let my kids have phones. I do have some prepaid flip phones for them to use if I need to be able to reach them. My daughter has an iPod touch and my brother bought the kids an iPad to share for Christmas. We have a laptop that I deemed mine, but they are able to use it when needed.
My teenage daughter has shown a lot of maturity and responsibility as of lately, so I have allowed her to have her iPod on a daily basis (I used to keep it and only let her have it when she earned it for a set time). She is not allowed to take it in her room, but it helps her keep in touch with friends and with me when I'm at work. The new iPad has caused so many issues (not getting chores done, fighting over it, etc.) that I took it away directly after Christmas. As of yesterday I started bringing it out to be used in exchange for chores and good behavior.
Last night my daughter begged me to go to a friends house for a sleepover. I agreed. Early this morning I got a text from her dad (who's account she has her iPod under) telling me that her friends parents weren't home and that she was texting about drinking alcohol. I was livid. I texted her that I'd be coming to pick her up as soon as she woke up. She said she was joking, but I can't be sure of that. And I don't think as a 14 year old, joking about drinking and doing drugs is mature and responsible.
Once I picked her up I had a long talk with her. Here's the jist of what I said...we don't live in a time like I had growing up. She says she was joking in her text to a friend, but I told her that's not any better. What you put online or send via text or email is out there forever. You have no control over who will share the information. And there are dangers out there that didn't exist when I was her age. Predators online waiting for you to become vulnerable. Predators posing as friends on social networking sites.
I told her that being a single mom working full time, I don't have time to monitor her actions online. I sat down with her iPod when we got home and I was appalled at some of the things she's been writing with friends. If I had known these conversations were happening, I'd have had talks with her sooner. So until then, it's a technology free household. I told her that sadly, these days parents who have the time and money either monitor their children all the time, or they let them go unmonitored and kids get away with some things that can put them in danger. I am forced to trust my daughter. Which is the way I'd prefer it. So until she can build up the trust she broke by not acting responsibly and maturing with technology, then she will not have access to it and she will be forced to use our land line and actually talk to people in person at school. I told her that people will most likely scoff at my actions and tell me to get with the times. But I want her to go out into the world prepared to act responsibly and maturely in person and online.
